1. Always be more kind to people than they deserve
I can't count the number of times I watched my mom converse with people who had different beliefs than she did, or weren't very nice to her, etc. She always treated them with as much kindness as she could physically muster up, and then just kept right on moving.
2. Be the bigger person.
My mom used to tell my sister and I this when there was someone at school who was bothering us and she was trying to teach us it really wasn't worth being upset about. There was one particular person throughout my middle school and high school career that really bothered me, and that was always the advice my mom gave. One day my senior year of high school, I came home and flung my backpack across the room and screamed "I am TIRED of being the bigger person." - but even after being out of the house for four years, I still try my best to do this.
3. Always eat the center of the cinnamon roll first.
One of the only days my sister and I ate hot lunch at school was on the days our school had cinnamon rolls and chili, and it was pretty much only for the cinnamon rolls. She always used to tell us to eat the center of the cinnamon roll first just in case you are too full to finish it all. High level, this translates to enjoying life's little gifts.
4. The goal of makeup is to make it look like you aren't wearing any (except stage makeup, which my mom also did)
Thanks to my mom, I am forever saved from looking back on middle school pictures that make me want to disown myself, at least in the makeup department. My mom spent considerable time teaching me how to put on makeup so that I didn't look like a clown, and even more time doing my dance hair and makeup for close to 15 years. She probably put more time into my appearance than I actually spent onstage, but it was always perfect.
5. How to put other people first
My mom packed my lunch for the entire 13 years I was in school. Although there were days when it tested my desire for my independence, she set an example of service. When my sister and I were in middle school, one of our closest family friends had their youngest son Luke, and their two older kids spent quite a bit of time with us. My mom made sure everyone got to school (a big deal considering we went to different schools) to their appropriate activities, and had their homework done. She also was responsible for getting about half our neighborhood on the bus at some point in my childhood, and when I look back at that group of kids, it's amazing she did that successfully. I also know that it is not my mom's favorite thing on the planet when she has to take me to the airport to let me go overseas for a week or two at a time, but she lets it happen because she knows how much I love traveling overseas and everything I've learned form those trips.
6. Being present is more important than having presents.
My mom (or dad, if he was off work) was at every school field trip, every event, and volunteered for everything my sister and I did. I know that sometimes these were not the most fun events, but she knew how excited it made me, even all the way through high school, to see my mom show up for things that were important to me or that I worked hard on.
7. Where the lettuce is, and other stupid phone calls
Another running joke in our family is that I actually once called my mom at work to ask her if we had any lettuce at home. Seriously. But since I've come to college, I've called to ask everything from where things are in the grocery store, about various lights on in my car, and, most recently, calling from Virginia about various concerning urinary symptoms. She takes them in stride.
8. How to chase my dreams, even if it feels like I'll never get there.
Over the last four years my mom has answered more than one phone call with me in hysterics when I got a D on a Human Body test, was so frustrated with molecular biology, got rejected from several grad schools, and finally, when I spent months waiting to hear from my first choice graduate school and got so frustrated when everyone else knew where they were going. It was, of course, well worth the wait when we finally found out that I got into Creighton while sitting in a restaurant in Kansas City and my mom screamed so loud I choked on my french fries.
9. Service.
When Brenna died, my parents opened our home to hundreds of kids in and out all weekend long who truly just needed a place to be with other people who were grieving. My mom was always sure to keep pizza and snacks in the house in case anyone got hungry, but generally left us alone and didn't bother us unless we needed something. Since then, many of my friends have commented on how big of a help it was for them to have somewhere to go in those first few rough, painful days. Last January when we went to Virginia for my uncle's funeral, my mom did everything she could to help my family with whatever was necessary. I watched the way that she can observe a situation, see what needs done, and do it effortlessly just to make someone else's life easier.
10. How she's made me want to be a mom
Although that isn't quite in the cards yet, moving out of the house and spending time with my parents since then has made me want to have kids of my own so that I can have stories of my own that they now share with me. We laugh now when my mom tells the story about how when we built our house when I was two, and were in the process of moving on Mother's Day, I cried because I wanted to go home. When we went to Disneyworld when I was 8, my sister and my mom rode some of the smaller rides while my dad took me on the roller coasters. My sister found that the It's a Small World ride was very enjoyable, and to this day, you can't sing that song around my mom without her getting a horrified look on her face just remembering the number of times she had to listen to that song.
I am excited to have the chance to love other people like she's loved me (my own kids or not) and serve them like she's served me, and set even half of the good example she's set for me.
Thank you mom, for all you do for Megan and I. We are so lucky.
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