My first entire semester and a half at Creighton, I cried so hard when I had to leave home on Sunday afternoons. My parents would send me off with tears in their own eyes, always reminding me this was my calling and they believed I could get through another week. "A smile on your face and a song in your heart" is my mom's famous line, and many weeks, the smile took everything I had and the song was very faint. It wasn't that I disliked being in Omaha or at Creighton, but it was merely that I was so unbelievably overwhelmed with all the new in my life that home was the one place when things are familiar. And every Sunday, I HAD to leave. And I hated it. Change has always been hard for me, and this seemed magnified.
Slowly, though, things changed. I wrote last year about my relationship with Emma making my Sundays so much easier. Soon, instead of the dread that filled me upon waking up on Sunday morning, it was excitement. I knew there was the cutest four year old in the world coming to dance class that day, and it was with my help that she was able to participate and do the thing that every four year old girl deserves to do - go to dance class. Although some tears were still shed on the drive back, slowly, I would get it together. I would sit down Sunday and look at the week ahead, and week by week, it got easier to figure out how all the homework was going to get done, when I could squeeze in time to develop friendships, and how I might even work in some time for myself - or even time to ponder what 'time for myself' even was. The drive back used to take forever, because it was filled with anxiety.
Today, my drive back took forever because I was so excited. Emma and I have a dance recital today. Her mom said that she is SO excited, and she's been talking about it at dance for at least six weeks, and when you're five, that's forever. I'm excited because this week I get to spend a lot of time with my friends here for that last time until I see them again one year from now, for a few days at graduation. When I truly think about it, there has probably been less than an hour each day (except for when I'm sleeping) for the last two years that I have spent NOT with someone in my class at Creighton. When you spend that much time together, dealing with something so stressful, and all working towards the same goal and passion, you have to like each other.
Many people have asked me over the last six weeks or so about my 'next steps'. It's difficult to describe the rotation process to someone who isn't in school/doesn't work in healthcare, so I've had to think of a lot of different ways of explaining it. In case that's you, I've lived in Omaha for two years, going to school and taking four separate weeks 'off' to go on a small fieldwork experience. This week, my class makes the big transition to our 'level 2' fieldworks and we will essentially be students at hospitals, clinics, or schools for the next twelve months. Those twelve months are split between three sites (summer, fall, and spring) and they are located all over the United States, with a few of my classmates even spending time overseas. As you can imagine, this adds a lot of chaos. Although Creighton organizes this beautifully for us, and it prepares us well for our future, finding housing, moving our belongings, and site-specific requirements are still on us. So, not only are we preparing to take on our own caseloads for the first time next week, many of us are moving to new cities, living with new people, and saying goodbye to great friends. People always ask if I'm nervous, and I usually say that I am scared - but it's a good scared.
This week is going to be filled with a lot of laughs, probably some tears, and basically zero studying. (sorry to any of my professors if you happen to find and read this). I have a peds test tomorrow, and I should be studying, but I'm not. I can't waste time studying or packing when I have to enjoy this time. As my friend Natalie told me this morning - 'it's going to be bittersweet. immerse yourself in the sweet now, and cry about the bitter after you leave'
Coming to Omaha has blessed me beyond measure. I remember the night before I left to come here, we had some friends over, and I stood in the driveway and cried because I didn't want to come. I had spent the entire summer 'nannying' for one of my favorite families in the whole world, and I wasn't ready to leave (I offered to stay but Ray and Steph politely told me that they loved me, and they were firing me and sending me to OT school). I stood in my driveway and cried because I was so scared about what was to come - however, next week my parents, aunt and uncle, and Ray and Steph are coming back to help move my belongings home. I have a feeling that there will be some tears, both because I'm nervous to go on fieldwork in new places, but also because I'm so sad to leave everything Omaha has given me.
Omaha blessed me with an incredible roommate, who, if you know us independently, you would wonder how on earth we get along. More than that, Leah has become one of my best friends and taught me so much with her positive outlook on life and the way she just finds so much JOY in everything she does. Omaha blessed me with an incredible counselor, who has now become a dear friend, who gave me more confidence in myself than I ever thought possible, and helped me work through past losses and grief that finally, finally, finally, I can feel at peace with. Omaha blessed me with the Gehring family, who have taken me in, let me come sit on their couch, and feed me dinner when I come over. They have set an incredible example of hospitality, love, and opening your home to others. They will never know how many nights I came to them at my wit's end with school or personal situations, and them allowing me to feel productive by changing diapers, helping with dinner, or just being a part of their family got me through. Omaha has blessed me with a class of 62 incredible people who I know are about to go change the world and the face of healthcare in a variety of settings, locations, and ways - people who, one day, I will get to say proudly "I went to OT school with them". Omaha has blessed me with Katie, Christin, and Megan, three of my best friends who I would not have survived the last two years without, and I will probably be calling a lot over the next year as I deal with complex patients, difficult situations, and exciting milestones with my clients. Although this list isn't even close to being all inclusive, you can guess why this week might be a little emotional.
When I think back in my life, there has been lots of tough situations, but not a single season of life has God called me to and then not blessed me with things I never knew I needed or wanted - and I know moving to Louisiana next week will be no exception. This transition is going to be sad, and without a doubt it will be scary - but I know that there is some serious joy and blessing that awaits. To everyone who has made Omaha my home for the last two years, thank you so much. I am so looking forward to the next chapter - and in the words of my friend Brenna, I am very excited to take lots of pictures, but always remembering - the best is yet to come.
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