My dad is genuinely one of the most empathetic people I know, and as I've gotten older, that is a quality that I look for and highly value in others. I am much more emotional than my sister and when I am having an emotional, teenage girl moment my dad always handles my phone calls and complaints with a listening ear, (not just hearing me, but listening to me) and then helping me to fix the problem, even though sometimes they can be some really stupid things. When I was in kindergarten, I came home upset one day because there was a toy on the playground that everyone else could climb and I couldn't. It was a bunch of red disks that spun, stacked on top of each other and connected by a pole down the middle. He responded by getting up and taking me to the school the following Saturday, and patiently teaching me how to climb the toy so that on Monday I could keep up with everyone else - helping me learn and sensing my genuine fear instead of telling me to 'suck it up.'
2. If you think you're above service, you aren't a leader at all.
I can't even count the number of times I've noticed my dad going above and beyond for coworkers, friends, or even people we don't know at all. When I was in middle school we were traveling through western Kansas one snowy Christmas morning to see his family and we passed by a wreck where someone was trying to flag down help (with no cell phone service to call the police) and he didn't hesitate to pull over and help people. Last year, when we were in South Carolina, there was a big rainstorm one day and a tree had fallen in the middle of the road on our way to dinner. Without question, dad stopped the car to get out and help to move it for everyone behind us. My dad consistently goes above and beyond to help neighbors and friends whenever in need.
3. How to have harmony without harmony.
One thing that really bothers me is when I have conflict with people in my life. Even when things need to change, it eats away at me if people are angry with me, upset with me, or just general unaddressed conflict. My dad is always able to help me handle those situations with grace so as to set a Christian example but also how to stand up for myself. I quit my first job when I was 17 and it wasn't on good terms. I had to go in before school on one Monday morning to turn in my key, and he stayed home from work that morning so that he could go with me - the conflict was never solved, but he made me feel confident enough to stand up for myself and helped me to understand that sometimes, life just doesn't work that way.
4. How to make friends
One of my favorite things about taking my dad places or introducing him to my friends is that he can be friends with LITERALLY anyone. He knows how to talk to people and make them feel comfortable, by asking questions about them and genuinely taking an interest in their lives. Not only do I never have to worry about having an awkward dad, I now have watched him do it enough times that I can usually successfully navigate through awkward encounters with minimal awkward feelings.
5. How to apologize when you are wrong
When I was growing up there were only a handful of times I remember having a serious conflict with my dad when I didn't look back and realize he was right. All of those times, he came in and apologized (never allowing us to go to bed angry) and explicitly said what he did wrong and how we could prevent that conflict in the future. Sounds cliche and simple, but it made it a lot easier to go to him when I was mad at him for something.
6. The importance of trying new things
When I was little we went to World's of Fun with some good friends and I rode my first roller coaster, the Timberwolf. I absolutely HATED it, but had wanted to go just because I had never been on one. Looking back, I don't think that riding that was my dad's favorite thing that day, but he did it to show me that there was nothing to be afraid of.
7. How to treat your spouse
This is accurate for both of my parents, but they set great examples for marriage that my sister and I could look up to. My dad is sure to do things like open the door, ask my mom her opinion and talk things out when they make decisions, and occasionally likes to surprise her, too. :)
8. Presence, not Presents
My parents have always given us gifts for birthdays and Christmas, but truthfully, I don't really remember them. What I do remember, however, is how when my mom and sister and I want to go to Kansas City and shop, dad always chooses to tag along instead of stay home and golf or watch whatever sport is on TV. He patiently hangs out in stores with us and then, seeing our new choice of clothes, always responds with "That's really pretty." I know we could come out of our rooms dressed as mummies and he would still compliment us. There's few warmer feelings in life than knowing your dad thinks you look nice.
9. How to love my sister
My sister and I really aren't too much alike other than our head of curly hair, and when we were little, we did fight. My dad always used to tell us to 'love her, because she's the only sister you've got.' This usually made us more mad, because we didn't WANT to love her right then, and also that this shut down our continuous complaints about wanting more siblings. However, later in life, it has taught me how to love my sister even when I don't agree with her, and she has been my best friend though some really tricky situations in life - and I am thankful he taught me that.
10. How to work hard, play hard
I just got to watch this one in action today, as we had eight students from Hong Kong swimming in our pool, as well as our own usual crowd of family friends. I watched my dad have water fights, play basketball, and chase and tease the kids in the same way he used to do with my sister and I. My dad works incredibly hard in all aspects of life, but he never misses a chance to have a little fun.
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