Today, I helped my family move my little sister into the dorms at K-State for her very first year of college. She is living with our cousin, who often feels like our third sister, and they are living in the same hall where I spent my freshman year - one of the most memorable years of my life. Spending time doing that today made me think of all of the things that three years of college and being on my own has taught me, and I'm primarily writing this for the benefit of my 'two' little sisters, although I'm hoping they figure out most of it for themselves.
1. Call your mom, call her often, and do exactly what she says. She is always right.
For probably the first six months I lived in the dorms my freshman year, I could call my mom when I couldn't find something and she would remind me where we had packed it before I could even think about it. She always knows how to fix things when I'm sick, the answer to my friendship problems, she proofreads important e-mails, and helps me when I have to learn how to do adult things, like shop in sections of the grocery store that are not cereal and noodles, get a stain out of a shirt that I was sure I had completely ruined, and she even gives her opinion on outfits via text message when I have a presentation.. or a date.
2. Contrary to what the six year old you says, you cannot have ice cream at breakfast.
Okay, at least not everyday.
Occasionally I go to my old high school and speak with seniors who are preparing to transition to living in a dorm and the one question I can always count on is - how is the food? I am usually faced with a room full of wide eyed seventeen year olds when I even begin to list the options available to them - but just because your mom is no longer preparing healthy foods for you should mean you stop eating them. You should only have ice cream for breakfast, at most, once a week. Otherwise, stick to cheerios. Also, eat fruit.
3. Accept the fact that honestly, the little things don't matter all that much.
I guarantee you that at least one of the following things will happen to you over the next nine months:
-you will oversleep and miss a class
-your printer will decide to go on strike at the most inopportune time, forcing you to admit to your prof that you did, in fact, wait until the last minute to write that 12 page paper.
- you will get caught in the rain and show up to class looking and smelling like a wet dog.
Accept that these things will happen to you, and you could either let them ruin your day, or you could be thankful for extra sleep, the opportunity to show your professor how respectful and adult-like you are when he turns you away, or a nice shower on a hot walk to class (or at least deodorant).
4. Accept the fact that you will mess up.
Along with the above lessons, accept the fact that you will forget an assignment, you will miss a meeting, you will forget to take that stupid online quiz that's due at midnight (me for the entirety of my time in sociology 101), learn how to make yourself better, and move on. Use a sticky note, an extra alarm, a reminder on your phone, but figure it out and don't worry about it.
5. Accept the fact that your college best friend will not know everything, or really anything, about you, until you tell them.
It is very difficult to transition from being with your high school best friend, who likely has known you since at least middle school, if not before, to someone who you may meet in a dorm or Greek house. You will live with this person and they will see your ups and downs, but they do not know all the things about you like the embarrassing person you were in middle school or that one guy you had a crush on all the way through high school. Realize and appreciate that new friendships require work.
6. For the love of all things good and holy, at least skim the book.
The amount of reading that is listed on the syllabus alone in some of my classes is enough to make me want to drop out, but please do not assume that you can get by without reading like you did in high school. You probably don't have to read all of it, but make sure you read enough of it - because a 42 on your first psych test might be a hard hole to dig out of.
7. Do fun things. Specifically, intramurals.
My freshman year I got stuck on a volleyball team because they needed an extra player and it ended up being one of my favorite times of the week - a time that I was REQUIRED to stop doing homework and go play an active and participatory sport. We ended up winning semi-finals with only five people, one of which was struggling from a very late night out the previous evening. Hey, even if you suck, that's the point.
8. Take at least one road trip during your college career.
Seriously, everyone needs the opportunity to bond with others by cramming people into a car, sleeping on each other's shoulders, navigating with your cell phone loses service, (even though grandpa always lectures me about bringing an atlas, which I can barely fold properly, let alone use) and seeing your gas light come on an hour from the nearest rest stop. It's a good time.
9. Find at least one type of event, sporting or otherwise, that you enjoy watching or doing and go watch it or do it.
It is truly amazing what a sense of school pride does - if you're feeling a little lost on a big campus, it's easy to meet people with common interests if you just start showing up to things you either like to watch or participate in, and then do those things.
10. Do not, if at all possible, burn popcorn in your dorm room.
All those friends we just talked about making in #9? You will no longer have them. Burnt popcorn in a dorm is like a dirty diaper on an airplane. It just lingers.
*Note: If you do find yourself in this situation, put the popcorn in the refrigerator.
11. Germs are everywhere.
I shouldn't even have to say this, but if you drop your toothbrush in the community shower, go buy a new one. That day. Before it's time to brush your teeth again.
12. Embrace the utter chaos that is now your life.
For some people, it's extremely difficult to let go of the scheduled day and predictability of high school and get used to having so much time to yourself and being on your own to get things done- (I am one of those people) but believe me, you will find an independence you never thought you had, capabilities you didn't know existed, an appreciation for your family at home, and, with any luck, a fire to try new things and be prepared for new change ahead.
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